Thursday, 19 April 2012

Dear Emma

The only rule I had when I started this blog was to be honest and speak about what was on my mind, trying not to hold back out of fear or concern but I was also aware that everyone has different views about life and not everyone would agree with what I talk about. With that on my mind I was prepared for a little reaction from people around me whenever I released a blog, hoping that if it was negative I could deal with it. What I wasn’t prepared for was such a positive reaction from people and some of the really lovely things that has been said to me. The past week has been especially touching as coincidentally a few close members of my extended family separately contacted me with some very heartfelt comments about my blog and how they thought about me; I actually found it very humbling and was really touched by it so I would like to say thank you (you know who you are) for being so uplifting and positive :) 

My reaction to hearing such nice things was typically “I didn’t think they thought so highly of me” and “I didn’t realise I had made that much of an impact for them to think that way” which I verbalised to my mam in a stunned kind of way and we talked about how you affect people around you on a daily basis and never realise it. You could make someone’s day with a comment or a helping hand and to you it was a passing insignificant interaction. I thought wouldn’t it be lovely if everyone knew how much they were needed or wanted in the world by their families, friends, work colleagues, strangers… when someone does something or means something to you in your life that you would tell them so that they know. I have decided I’m going to do more of it, starting right now actually.

Dear Emma,

You are probably going to kill me for writing this so publicly but I have to because, well, there is an unwritten rule that the older sister has to mortify the younger one at least once a month to keep them in check. Now my only real issue is where to start! Well it all started on the 2nd of May when… nah this isn’t “this is your life” haha. There might be an embarrassing picture though be warned!

I’m proud to call you my sister, there is no one out there like you (which you will happily declare to anyone around regardless if they are listening or not haha). You are so intelligent yet you don’t seem to realise it – you underestimate just how smart you actually are. You are such a quick thinker and you have great knack for recognising your own strengths too and then using them to the full. I have never met anyone (bar Dad) who has your level of motivation for life. It’s as if you don’t have a stop button sometimes, you just see your target and shoot off to get it. You are stunningly beautiful not to mention really photogenic. I love how quirky you are, how you express yourself and how ditzy you can be when you are giddy haha. You are hilarious. Like I mean can’t breathe, totally uncontrollable, I’m-going-to-wet-myself-laughing hilarious… and yes you are witty and colourful, extremely loud and very confident yet underneath that you have a very emotional depth to your soul which for me is the true nature of how good a person you are. 

I love being around you, you put me at ease and it feels like home when your there.  I can still see us under the stairs writing our newspaper or laying under the Christmas tree in the hall looking up among the branches at the lights – do you remember making a nest for the robin? Or racing across the corridor to jump on each other’s beds… There were the nights where we would move the bed so that if we left the doors open we could talk to each other.  That’s not to mention the midnight trips to Tescos, the night you climbed into Roo’s bed in the kitchen, the umpteen movies we would watch at like 3am when the rents were up in bed and I won’t talk about the drunken stuff hahaha! We have laughed, we have cried, we have argued and we have sat in silence but through everything I have always felt safe with you, I trust you and I owe my sanity to you. You have been there for me through everything; you were the shoulder I cried on and the most understanding when I didn’t even understand things myself. You have changed me in so many ways by just being you and I want you to know how special you are not only to me but to so many others who I know would feel the same way.

I miss you every day but I love how you are living your life for you and not settling for something that would make you unhappy. It also gives me an excuse to take loads of little holidays throughout the year haha…

I love you,
Yay-yay xx

P.s. I did warn you about the pic… sorry.

“It's funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It's like they think it won't ever change.” Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding

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